run-one-on-one-meeting

Run One-on-One Meeting

Facilitate a regular one-on-one meeting that builds trust, unblocks the employee, and creates a reliable coaching relationship.

Why This Is Best Practice

Adopted by: Google, Amazon, Microsoft, and organizations following Manager Tools methodology Impact: Google re:Work research identified one-on-ones as the #1 behavior of high-scoring managers on their "Project Oxygen" study. Manager Tools research across 90,000+ managers showed managers who consistently run one-on-ones see 3x higher retention and 40% better performance ratings on their teams. Drucker identified time with direct reports as the highest-leverage activity for any manager. Why best: Consistent, employee-agenda-first one-on-ones create psychological safety, surface problems before they escalate, and provide the coaching relationship that drives long-term development.

Sources: Horstman & Auzenne "Manager Tools One-on-One" podcast (2005–2023); Google re:Work "Project Oxygen" research (2008); Drucker "The Effective Executive" (1967)

Steps

1. Set a fixed recurring time — schedule weekly or biweekly, same day and time, 30–60 minutes. Consistency signals the relationship is a priority. Canceling sends the opposite signal; reschedule rather than cancel.

2. Make it the employee's meeting, not yours — the first 10–15 minutes belong to the employee. They set the agenda: what's on their mind, what they're working on, what's blocking them. Resist the urge to fill this time with your agenda.

3. Prepare your talking points — prepare 2–3 topics for the second half: feedback, coaching on a current project, career development, or organizational updates. Keep the ratio roughly 50/50 employee-agenda to manager-agenda.

4. Start with "What's on your mind?" — this open question invites the employee to surface whatever matters most to them, not just project status. It reveals concerns, ambiguities, and interpersonal dynamics that status reports never surface.

5. Listen more than you talk — your goal in the first half is to understand, not to solve. Resist giving advice immediately. Ask clarifying questions: "Tell me more." "What have you tried?" "What do you need from me?" Pause before responding.

6. Deliver coaching and feedback — in the second half, provide specific, behavioral feedback using SBI (Situation-Behavior-Impact). Feedback should be balanced: what is working well and what needs to change. Don't save all feedback for the annual review.

7. Discuss career development monthly — at least once per month, dedicate time to the employee's longer-term goals: what skills they want to build, where they want to be in 2 years, and what projects will develop those skills. This separates a development relationship from a status-reporting relationship.

8. Document action items — both parties leave with clear commitments and who owns each. Use a shared doc or note-taking system so both can refer back to previous agreements.

9. Follow through on your commitments — if you promised to unblock something, do it before the next meeting. One broken commitment erodes the psychological safety you've built over months of consistent meetings.

10. Adjust cadence as needed — new employees may need weekly or more frequent meetings. High-performing senior employees may prefer biweekly. Remote employees generally need higher frequency than co-located employees.

Rules

• Never cancel a one-on-one without rescheduling — even a 15-minute reschedule preserves the relationship signal.
• Do not use one-on-ones for project status updates that could be handled asynchronously — that's not what the time is for.
• Deliver both positive and developmental feedback — all praise or all critique is less effective than a balanced diet.
• Keep a shared running document with topics from both parties — without documentation, the same issues resurface repeatedly.
• The employee should do 60–70% of the talking — if you're talking more than the employee, rebalance.

Common Mistakes

• Manager-dominated agenda — turning one-on-ones into project syncs or directives destroys the trust-building purpose.
• Inconsistent frequency — monthly one-on-ones are better than nothing, but weekly is 4x more relationship-building surface area.
• Avoiding difficult feedback — saving hard feedback for annual reviews ensures problems fester for months.
• No follow-through — promising to resolve a blocker and not doing it is worse than not promising.

When NOT to Use

• Crisis situations requiring immediate group decision-making (handle in team meetings or direct communication)
• Performance improvement plans requiring HR documentation (these warrant a separate, formal process)
• Large team settings with 15+ direct reports per manager (structural fix needed — reduce spans of control)