hype-giveaway-post

Hype giveaway post

When to invoke

The user wants a giveaway/sale post for a specific item, OR is feeding a list from identify-donation-targets / identify-resale-targets and wants posts for each.

This is intentionally a fun skill — the default tone is "marketing-hyperbole-for-a-broken-toaster". If the user wants something usable for a real sale listing, they'll say so.

Inputs

• One or more items (id from inventory/master.json, or pasted name + description).
• Optional tone dial: chaotic (default — full hype, ridiculous), playful (silly but readable), straight (just a good listing, no jokes).
• Optional platform: Buy Nothing, Facebook Marketplace, Yad2, Freecycle, Olio, generic. Adjusts length and conventions (e.g. Buy Nothing posts use first-name-only and "ISO/Gifting" framing; Marketplace listings need price + condition fields).

Output structure

For each item, produce:

1. Headline — 1 line, all-caps optional, packed with superlatives.
2. Body — 3–6 short paragraphs hyping unremarkable specs, inventing a heroic backstory, and dressing up flaws as features ("Patina from years of distinguished service" = scratched. "Pre-loved by a discerning owner" = used. "Compact form factor" = small/broken-off).
3. Specs section — bullet list, technically accurate but framed glamorously.
4. Call to action — DM, comment, pick up by date.
5. Hashtags — 5–10, escalating in absurdity.

Tone calibration examples

• Chaotic (default): "🚨 RARE OPPORTUNITY 🚨 A 2007 George Foreman grill — yes, that George — seeks a new caretaker. This unit has flame-kissed thousands of chicken breasts and is ready for its next chapter."
• Playful: "Free George Foreman grill — works great, just upgrading. Comes with the slightly questionable drip tray."
• Straight: "George Foreman GRP4 grill, working condition, free to collect. Plates wipe clean. Pickup Jerusalem area."

Platform conventions

• Buy Nothing: First-person, "Gifting:" or "Offer:" prefix, no prices, pickup-only. Keep it warm, mention the neighbourhood.
• Facebook Marketplace: Add price (or FREE), condition tag, location, a couple of bullet specs.
• Yad2 (IL): Hebrew if the user wants — produce both Hebrew and English versions and let them pick.
• Freecycle / Olio: Short, practical, mention pickup window and any safety quirks.

Output

If a single item: print the post(s) inline.

If a batch from a list: write <workspace>/outputs/giveaway-posts/<item-id>.md per item, with all platform variants in sections.

End by reminding the user that Declutter Genie is not responsible for the embarrassment caused if they post the chaotic version unironically.